you're good. you are really good. i thought elliot was a good actor but you... you really had me going.
ugh, why does this always seem to happen to me. i always fall for the wrong guys and then things get said, things are thought and then he, meaning you, can't be honest with me. you lied to me, you have been lieing to me. i let them all slide but now they are getting to big for both of us. you don't pick me up in the middle of the night to lie under the stars and talk. and you certainly don't almost have sex with someone who doesn't mean much to you. you're right, you don't have a commitment issue, but you aren't afraid of getting hurt. you only used that as an excuse because you didn't want to hurt me. you are just like him, dragging everything out. i'm always the one to walk away hurt. but not this time, i will not let you do the same thing that elliot did to me. i'm ending this... this... whatever this is anyway! call me when you decide what you want.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
4TH OF JULY
Happy fourth of July!!!
I hope that you're having a better day than I am!
It started out alright, i woke up from a dream that was just A-mazing! my best... well i should say one of my best guy friends (FWB) realized how much he actually liked me, and realized how much he missed talking to me everyday as a friend and ended up calling me just to talk! yeah i know it doesn't mean much but it gave me something to think about.
But then i woke up and i opened my email account. i looked for my AP Bio worksheet that my teacher was supposed to send me a while ago and then i cam across my horoscope.
that's what it said. sadly.
it was like a slap in the face, i had been to "dreamy" with the whole thing, but i have to admit that i have not forgotten about it. in fact the whole time i was with my family today that's all i could think about. well let me tell you, don't ever think that your friend with benefits will ever really see you more than just someone to make out with and stuff... you'll spare yourself a lot of heart ache.
any way, i've been writing again. i stayed up late last night just writing away like a mad man! i have seven pages, it's not much, but it's a good start. i'll be sure to post some stuff when i get the chance (in other words... when i feel like it).
I hope that you're having a better day than I am!
It started out alright, i woke up from a dream that was just A-mazing! my best... well i should say one of my best guy friends (FWB) realized how much he actually liked me, and realized how much he missed talking to me everyday as a friend and ended up calling me just to talk! yeah i know it doesn't mean much but it gave me something to think about.
But then i woke up and i opened my email account. i looked for my AP Bio worksheet that my teacher was supposed to send me a while ago and then i cam across my horoscope.
"Tension is likely to arise in many different areas of your life, Scorpio. It's possible that you're either too dreamy or too practical for the issue at hand. It's important for you to strike a balance."
that's what it said. sadly.
it was like a slap in the face, i had been to "dreamy" with the whole thing, but i have to admit that i have not forgotten about it. in fact the whole time i was with my family today that's all i could think about. well let me tell you, don't ever think that your friend with benefits will ever really see you more than just someone to make out with and stuff... you'll spare yourself a lot of heart ache.
any way, i've been writing again. i stayed up late last night just writing away like a mad man! i have seven pages, it's not much, but it's a good start. i'll be sure to post some stuff when i get the chance (in other words... when i feel like it).
Sunday, June 27, 2010
alright, so it's been a really long time hasn't it?! haha yeah!
a lot of things have happened
first, i got a car!
second, i am so tan from going to the beach almost everyday
third, i think i'm in love with my best friend...
i don't know why though, i told myself that i wasn't allowed to fall for him because he would never love me more than the other girls. i told myself that i should watch out because everything that we did together never really means anything. he told me he didn't want a relationship, i have seen him go into rooms with other girls and shut the doors, he's told me how much he likes girls in general. but i can't seem to get him out of my mind, i mean don't get me wrong there are other guys that i like too but he is just... just... different. i can't really explain it... sadly.
so i started writing again. it kept me up to the early hours of the morning today. as i began writing, it hit me, there is no way that someone can sit down and write a novel that does not have some form of love in it. friendship is love, mothers love their daughters, fathers love their children, sisters love their sisters. there is just no way around the whole love concept! it's every where we go, it's the very air we breath! we can't live without it and even through all the murders and suicides and the wars, it still exists, that's what makes the human race so interesting!
a lot of things have happened
first, i got a car!
second, i am so tan from going to the beach almost everyday
third, i think i'm in love with my best friend...
i don't know why though, i told myself that i wasn't allowed to fall for him because he would never love me more than the other girls. i told myself that i should watch out because everything that we did together never really means anything. he told me he didn't want a relationship, i have seen him go into rooms with other girls and shut the doors, he's told me how much he likes girls in general. but i can't seem to get him out of my mind, i mean don't get me wrong there are other guys that i like too but he is just... just... different. i can't really explain it... sadly.
so i started writing again. it kept me up to the early hours of the morning today. as i began writing, it hit me, there is no way that someone can sit down and write a novel that does not have some form of love in it. friendship is love, mothers love their daughters, fathers love their children, sisters love their sisters. there is just no way around the whole love concept! it's every where we go, it's the very air we breath! we can't live without it and even through all the murders and suicides and the wars, it still exists, that's what makes the human race so interesting!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
30 seconds to mars!
i went to their concert last night! truely amazing, i wish i had brought my camera to take pictures though... :(
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
satire homework
just finished up my satire for brit lit, i made fun of twilight and it's trusty followers!! i thought it was funny, but i don't know how well it is. i edited my friends paper today too and she is really smart and wants to be a writer like myself, but her paper totally sucked. i know that sounds bad, but it's true!
anyway, im going to call it a night, my brett is supposed to call me anyway so we can talk about our horrible lives!!!
anyway, im going to call it a night, my brett is supposed to call me anyway so we can talk about our horrible lives!!!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
the complete list
so i thought that it was a little lame to just write a part of the list and not the whole thing so he are all 119 things to do before i die (that i have so far)!
1: sing in public
2: jump off a bridge
3: go streaking
4: reenact a scene from star wars
5: dance in the middle of a thunderstorm
6: meet cinderella
7: do a poetry night
8: go to a club - completed on March 13, 2010 (i went to see BOM @ clutch cargos)
9: kiss someone in the middle of the street
10: use a cheesy pick up line
11: visit every place having to do with William Shakespeare
12: get a tattoo
13: buy a motorcycle and drive through ALL of the states
14: go to the henry ford museum wearing a fanny pack and a hawiian t-shirt (complete tourist look)
15: go to mcdonalds in my prom dress and then dance and fall asleep under the stars instead of going to prom
16: swim with dolphins
17: go scuba diving
18: go to Transylvania
19: go around giving FREE HUGS
20: roll around in a bunch of one dollar bills
21: go to a concert
22: stop a robber
23: write a song (even if it sucks)
24: don't answer the door at halloween and then eat the candy in the window for all the little kids to see!!!
25: meet andrew mcmohan
26: celebrate valentines day by watching scary/gory movies and getting drunk
27: write a novel that ISN'T a love story
28: participate in the day of silence
29: be completely hones and open for a whole day
30: visit kurt cobain's grave
31: cry in public
32: fake a love montage
33: punch someone in a mosh pit
34: grow a few inches
35: touch Gerard way's butt
36: burn my homework from all of HS after my senior year
37: use the excuse of 'my dog at my homework'
38: sneak into the auditorium and sing on stage for a fake audience
39: sleep under the stars
40: ride a bike to North Carolina
41: become LESS afraid of who i am and getting hurt
42: ride thunder mountain railroad over and over again for a whole day!!
43: dress up as a superhero and go to comiccon
44: throw a benefit party for TWLOHA
45: have an epic 'movie' moment
46: learn 'thriller' dance moves
47: see the sydny opera house
48: die my hair red - completed (april 2, 2010)
49: live like emerson and thoreau for a day
50: have future told by psychic
51: make a movie
52: SAVE A LIFE
53: gain a high rank with TWLOHA street team
54: watch all LOTR movies in one day
55: finish my 100 book challenge
56: finish this list
57: touch a real fish
58: meet norah jones
59: paint a fairly decent picture
60: have a 'meet and greet'
61: invent a word
62: attempt to read a romance novel
63: create a book of life situations from everyone all over the world
64: live one day as though it were a scene from a musical
65: learn Clair De Lune
66: buy a grand piano
67: eat a candy bar in the middle of the store
68: learn about different philosophies and culturs
69: (isn't the number enough
70: go to the grand canyon with dad
71: make a toast at a strangers wedding
72: spray everyone i can't stand with silly string
73: stay in bed ALL day
74: get covered in henna tattoos
75: go to IRELAND
76: fall in love
77: become a teacher
78: learn how to shoot a bow and arrow
79: go to the rennicanse festival
80: eat a whole tube of cookie dough
81:talk like a pirate for a whole day
82: go to russia
83: have an intense snow ball fight
84: drive halfway across the country for the world's greatest ice cream
85: wake up every morning amazed by the world
86: get ice cream in the middle of winter
87: see the northern lights
88: skip school (a mental health day) - completed on... i don't remember, i have done it so many times, i can't keep track
89: go swimming at the north pole
90: surf the crowd at a concert
91: sneak out
92: trench 'beethoven's' lawn
93: receive an orchid or gerber daisy
94: have a good come-back
95: be happy
96: see two movies back to back at the theatre
97: become a bit more outgoing/adventurous
98: take part in the indiana jones show @ disney world
99: ride the tea cups till i puke
100: GROW OLD WITH SOMEONE
101: go to a club and dance in the middle of the crowd
102: kiss a total stranger
103: go to a Muse concert
104: wear a dress to someplace other than a dance - completed
105: talk in front of the class WITHOUT being nervous
106: have a mohawk
107: throw a party
108: get involved with those annoying thespians
109: go to devil's pool, victoria falls in africa
110: go to time's square for new year's
111: have my portrait painted
112: go skinny-dipping at midnight in the south of France
113: make love on a forest floor
114: be a member of the audience in a TV show
115: watch the launch of a space shuttle
116: plant a tree
117: go up in a hot air balloon
118: kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland
119: dive to the Titanic on board a submarine.
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