I don't think that i have ever been so confused in my entire life than i am right now at this very moment. i honestly have no idea what i am going to do.

my boyfriend and i broke up a few days ago and yesterday i was ready to talk to him. everything was alright, and i planned this whole conversation in my head. i was finally ready to be friends with him, even though just being that would be a little painful seeing as he is kind of popular with the ladies.

but today after second hour my sister came up to me and told me some news. this guys brother told this girl (who is my ex boyfriends best friend) who told her little sister who told my sister that he broke up with me because he was happy when we were together but when we were apart he was depressed. i am pretty sure that i was experiencing the same thing and i thought maybe it was normal but i guess not.

well i think that he was easily manipulated by some girl who told him to break up with me.

i know i shouldn't believe it. its like the telephone game, everything starts out as one thing and then ends up as something completely different.

everyone tells me that i should talk to him. and i know i should but every time i look at him i cringe away and something inside me seems to shrivel up.

but i have to do it. and hopefully someday, i will have the courage to face this because i really don't want to push him away any more than i already have.